Serpent (2017) film review — I only liked the snake

Serpent is really poor as far as movies go. The acting is uninspiring and whilst the plot might have worked with better execution, it just doesn't gel here. I can see little to recommend this film.

This could easily be my shortest review.

Firstly, the plot doesn’t take much reviewing because after a bit of prelude it’s just a married couple in a tent with a snake. Secondly, I can’t say too much about the film’s qualities because it doesn’t have any.

The snake in question is a black mamba and it’s easily the best actor in this film. Such snakes are extremely venomous and their bite is often fatal unless you quickly get some antivenom into you. The married couple in this film have of course accidentally left their medical rucksack — with the antivenom in it — at the top of a cliff because that’s how careless you are in black mamba country.

Not only that but they manage to discuss their marriage problems whilst this snake is crawling all over them in the tent. I’m sorry but if you’re in a tent with a black mamba, the black mamba is the only thing that matters, even if you’ve just discovered your wife has had sex with an entire football team.

So it’s all a bit of a farce. The acting’s poor, the plot’s thin and I quickly found myself siding with the snake. It faffed around for far too long before biting them, otherwise it could have saved us all a lot of misery.

This film won the ‘Nightfall Award’ (for horror movies) at the 2017 Los Angeles Film Festival and I dread to think what the other films were like if this was the best.

I was tempted to rate this zero but I gave it 1.5 stars in the end because I like snakes and I also watch The Horror Channel from time-to-time so, sadly, I’ve seen films much worse than this.